The first day or so, I experienced what you'd call "culture shock". I knew it would happen; I just couldn't help it. I found myself peaking out the cracks in the windows observing what people wore, wondering if I brought anything appropriate to wear. I wanted to blend in. But then when Hunter bought me a traditional African cloth/scarf, I was thinking, "I'll just look like a wanna-be". Hunter's response: "You are way too worried about clothes." He's right. I'm gonna stick out no matter what. Anyway, I didn't want to leave the house. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I knew what tasks needed to be done that day, but I didn't feel motivated to do any of them….and then I began to recall all the lame radio commercials that list the symptoms of depression and started to wonder. Thankfully, Hunter encouraged me to get out, and I got over it pretty quickly.
2 comments:
It's perfectly natural to concern yourself with every little thing. Don't be hard on yourself Yols. Love you! Xo.
Everything you are feeling is completely natural Yo. It's normal to second guess your dress when you feel so foreign when you know you stand out. I say wear the scarf and try to blend in if you feel more comfortable that way. Even if you don't, everything you see will become second nature. You will feel like you fit in even though you don't. I remember walking into the Marriott towards the end of my mission and gasping at the lavishness and feeling like maybe they would kick me out. Then I walked past a mirror and saw myself and realized that I fit into that environment. My beautiful long pea coat, my nice (yet worn) shoes. I had been surrounded by poor conditions for so long that I thought I belonged in those conditions. That I was the same as everyone else, even though I'm sure they didn't view me that way. It was a very strange moment.
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